Wednesday, October 13, 2004

Circle Back and other Ignorant Sayings

I hate the jargon that is so prevalent in the business world. Kudos to those of you who are either ignorant or too wise to use such mindless bable, viv-a-vis "Circle-Back." Years ago, when I was breaking into the biz, I was at a conference to oversee the technical production of our company's booth and hospitality suite. It was then, I grew to hate the term circle back....and to this day I cringe when I hear it. We had this very, very highly paid consultant to help us push our catapult our company to success. I spent a lot of time that week as a fly on the wall as she (and others) gave pitches and sales calls in our hospitality suite. This lady never actually did anything or answered any questions. Everything was "I'll circle back with you.". She also ended every meeting with "let's circle back." Fine, fine but when are you going to DO SOMETHING? I bet I heard that phrase 100 times in just three days. It irritated the heck out of me! She was let go a few months later for not really getting the things done she needed...But not until we spent $400k. Now, I'd like to circle back and get that kind of cash for a part time gig where all I did was say circle back, circle back.

Other phrases I hate are circle the wagons, kudos, bifurcate, vis-a-vis, bells and whistles, low hanging fruit, soup to nuts, big cheese, take-a-ways, and the big dog. I'm taking a stand. No more meaningless business jargon until further notice. If something changes, I'll circle back.

Tuesday, October 12, 2004

Why Best Buy=Worst Buy

About six months ago I was leaving for a family vacation. I have been waiting seven years to buy a small video camera. I finally decided to break down and get one. After days of research, I selected the ideal camera. Since I was also purchasing other items (and they had to be in stock) I thought I would try Best Buy online and pick it up at the store, plus they were giving me 40 digital dollars toward future purchases. As it turned out that future time was more like a parallel time....

I got the (oh boy, oh boy) digital dollars within a mere three months. It was actually so long I thought it was SPAM when it came in my email. When they came it was July 15 and they would expire on August 15. "ooh ooh, better hurry," I thought and went about planning my spending to total $40 with taxes. After about 4 hours I had two pieces of children's software in my cart and I was ready to check out. That's when it happened. I must have slipped on a quark and fell into a wormhole because my digital dollars were expired? That can't be right....It says in black and white, August 15, right? Well, yes but....

The wormhole dropped me straight to customer service, which I am convinced would be my hell. You know...Where you call, hold for 40 minutes, get transferred 3-4 times until you get right back where you started, then mysteriously the phone makes a clicking sound as they transfer you back to the right department.....The silence is eerie, then it comes, "if you'd like to make a call...." After a couple days of this and some email customer service, I decide to take a break. Man, I hate form-letter email responses to contact us inquiries. They never even read the email and send you some bogus form-letter (within 48 hours since it is important to them). Then, it doesn't apply to your question, so you have to re-ask referencing your last email chain.

Anyway....its a month later before get back to my efforts, but no progress. I eventually get a human to yell at, he tells me he will "research" my issue with the digital dollar division (Am I suppossed to believe that they have an entire business unit dedicated to ripping people off with digital dollars? They might, see..Ohio Sues Best Buy) , but never gets back to me. Then the digital dollars do expire in our time dimension. That is where I draw a line in the sand. I file a complaint to the state attorney general and fraud.org then vow to never again recommend or step foot or cursor in a Worst Buy.

Monday, October 11, 2004

Bush's Bulge (no, not that one).


My friend and coworker sent me this:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/americas/3730364.stm

I can't imagine how much damage he could do to the English language without help... Why are Americans so stooopid? I mean can't they see that our pResident is making us look like international fools? The whole world knows we invaded Iraq for money or to get even for dubYah's daddy or just to make money on the chaos we create or to appease the Saudi's. In any case it is unjust and casts a black-eye on our nation. I am drawing a line here....if you idiots elect Bush (or make it close enough for the Supreme Court and Jeb to steal it) then sayonara America and bonjour Canada...I'm not going to fight in Iraq! There, now I have drawn my first line in the sand. Vote you fools...but make sure to THINK FIRST.



Nathan Hart Posted by Hello